Some Topics from on 12/8/2008.
So much on my mind. I thought I'd write it out quickly before going to bed:
The House:
Emily has done a lovely job. The tree, stockings, sparkly hangings, picture of Christ, Nativity scene, flowers - even the santa bears I teased her about - they do all create a feeling of Christmas around the house. It is nice to have the lights casting multicolored shadows of the branches on the walls in the evening whilst the Mormon Tabernacle Holiday station plays on the computer. And the Advent Calendar - thought I've never really understood the history behind "the Advent" or just where that comes from (I think when I was a kid I thought it was a Jewish thing which had to do with Hanukkah, somehow) - I'm glad that she decided to make the candy-studded tree poster and I think with the scriptures and service activities in the candy packets each day, it's sticking to the meaning of the season and it turned out very nice. I think the kids enjoy it and it's a worthy tradition for future years.
The Friends/Neighbors:
We recently had some friends over from Emily’s BYU college years along with Christa & Steve to watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. Even with all the noisy kids, I'm glad that Emily had this in mind and made it happen. And, in a related note, the night before that, we were able to go to meet Steve and Christa at a basketball game which Christa's coached. Those two events with a few friends may not seem like much, but a little bit of social interaction on our part – apart from the usual busy routine of work and just-us family activities – makes a big impact on our homey lives.
The Ward Christmas Party:
I'm still not sure we shouldn't have gone out and helped the other few members of the activities committee take some pictures of the families in the ward - I don't feel like we're quite doing our share of the activities committee callings we have. Perhaps we could take the car after/before Becky's birthday celebration at our house tomorrow and visit some families for some snapshots? It might work out for me to wait with the kids in the car while Emily runs to photo-snap people, starting with our cul de sac.
I still think I'm going to be here over Christmas proper. I think if we just plan some very positive Christmas moments at the Pre-Christmas at the Grand View Ridleys and the Post Christmas here, it won't be so bad missing the actual Christmas date. I'm pretty sure we did not RSVP anybody in the Ridley camp about the Grand View Christmas on time, but we are trying to make it happen.
FHE
So, also for Family Home Evening this next Monday – I’d like to touch on a lesson from our Elder's Quorum which covered how to train up our boys for Priesthood. It included a lot of good ideas (which I want to jot down before I forget them - not growing up in the church, I think this is one thing that I'm not really sure about how to do along with prepare boys to go on missions, etc). We of the Quorum talked about talking to our daughters also about how boys prepare for the priesthood - maybe we could have a motherhood/priesthood lesson (or two) before Christmas. They suggested talking to boys about their relationship to the women in their lives - sisters, mothers, etc. Also previewing the Duty to God materials, reading D&C 20 & 121, defining terminology regarding priesthood (such as 'priesthood,' 'ordain," "office," "keys"), involving boys in service projects, letting them see and talk about blessings - lots of things like that. Anyway I feel like i need to do some of these things more deliberately, so along with interviewing our children, I think we could cover some of this in FHE meetings, etc.
I think our kids would benefit much from a weekly presentation of the highlights of their education so I can "ooo!" and "aaaaah!" and give them some recognition and get educated about what they're being educated about. I'm enjoying reading along (behind usually) in Hayley's book so I have a clue. It’s my job to know more about what they're learning and though I can’t keep up, I like having some conversations with her about the stories and characters and principles once in a while.
Presents
Last year my bright idea was to set Emily up with music she could pick out and download and play – you know, in the car, around the house, during her study time – whenever. I’m pretty sure she has not used those download vouchers for more than a couple songs. I don't know - I think she wants books and music, as usual - classics we don't own and songs she would have to pick out herself...but that didn't work too well last time. So this year’s gift may have more to fixing up the downstairs bathroom than gift purchasing, as such. I have never felt like a competent gifter.
Parenting
...I don't know - I feel like my role in parenting has been sort of random and unclear. Time to have another long talk with Emily about this, I suppose.
Jobs
Speaking of unclear - I don't mind having household responsibilities. Can we just define what mine are, for starters? Just some basic things that I can plan on doing regularly? Surely if I were an awesome husband, I would just be really good about looking about the house and finding what needs doing and doing it before you have a chance to think about it. That would be awesome. And I think until I develop that talent, I should still be doing some regular something and I feel guilty about it. I wasn't saying earlier today that I didn't want to vacuum out the car or do anything else. I am sorry you cried. I just was letting you know that when you say "I have a request" that I assume it means you have an unpleasant task for me to work on, so I'm wary - I wasn't at all saying that I would not do such a task. Anyway.
Dating,
Emily and I really should go on a date...somewhere...somehow...I'm sure it will be good for us. As also would be making time for Emily to take her turn going to the temple and several other little yet really important things that I’m not really feeling very confident are going to happen with regularity even though I’m very aware that they should. The temple is a place where covenants, such as marriage, are made and renewed and remembered. There’s an extra weight of realization that comes from knowing that I'm a Marriage and Family Therapist...so I know this is really unwise to leave these things in a state of dangle for long.
Food Storage
This continues to come to my mind. It's not just because of Uncle Tom and Cheri's family lesson on it at the church building the week after Thanksgiving or whenever it was - this has seriously been on my mind for at least six months and the thoughts and feelings about it just continue to be stronger and more persistent. I wish we were already sitting on several cases of essentials and I KNOW we don't have the money. But we also don't have the money to not shop sales and buy cases.
Book Club
I don't even know what we're supposed to be reading for book club. Emily goes every week. I think that stopped for me when I was preparing for an audit at work. I have several books on Therapy that I want to read and feel would be helpful before I get to the list of books for book club…so it seems to me that I’ll not be joining them for their discussion group anytime soon.
Family Relations Teacher Calling
I just realized that I wasn't set apart today. Why did I forget that? I was thinking about it before and during church - but it never occurred to me after. Maybe that means that today wasn't the day. I want to be reading the manuals and doing lesson plans to prep for January startup of the class and in one week I've done next to nothing about that. It would be much more rewarding in the long run than playing the little battle tanks game (fun strategy games are sometimes appropriate, and there was probably some more balance I can bring to the next opportunity by reading the manuals first - in-stead regressing into a computer game for two hours.)
Well, I think this took less than an hour. I didn’t realize I had all that on my mind. Perhapse I can sleep more soundly now (usually not a problem).
- good night..
Dave Ridley
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